A million lil' thoughts paired w/ a million lil' pieces...

Something must be in the air that has made me think about the relationships in my life. Whether it be the bond I share with my friends, the memories I have with those I no longer see, the interaction with my family and the relationship I have with myself.

As people come and go in life, I cannot help but wonder why some stay and others drift away. Some drifting slowly, almost going un-noticed and others practically disappearing instantly, like some kind of real-life magic trick with no specific formula to bring them back. As if there is some cosmic correlation between the people and faces seen daily and a reason as to why we have to miss others so much. Based on the path I have chosen in my life, I feel fortunate to have had the opportunity to meet so many unique and amazing people. Those, who without, I would not be me, without those conversations had, experiences undergone, adventures to be taken.

We tend to forget how influential those around us really are. The strangers we pass by, thinking nothing of it or the casual conversations had during a daily coffee run. Just based on a certain route consistently taken and that impromptu detour that unexpectedly brought you face to face with something or someone fabulous. There is an irony here, ironic how life is full of goodbyes, and yet full of hello's at the very same time. Like the two parallel one another for infinity and it is the way things go not even an on-going cycle but instead a game of catch, eye for an eye, a loss for a gain. Occasionally I feel sad, sad that I do not see you everyday, and at one point you were there every day of my life. Such faces and personalities, so magnificent, I could not imagine a world without.

I have always made it a priority to maintain relationships, staying in touch and not losing sight of what was once quite significant. Not realizing how influential something was until it is no longer around. Or how you could have gone so long without having that charisma and essence channeling a certain lifestyle in your world. This time of year, specifically, is about seeing old friends and foes, family gatherings, laughter, reminiscing about what once was and resolutions to be carried with us in the year to come. For me, I want to concentrate on all the positive influences I have in my world and not forget the people who are nearly a plane ride away.

It is easy to be hard on oneself; whether a job is at stake or just not fulfilling, a relationship hanging by a thread or merely a bad hair day that can only be fixed with a good night sleep. But with a slight pause you can turn it all around. Nothing is perfect, unlike a puzzle where every piece is meant to fit precisely, instead life is that puzzle with two missing pieces or for some half the box, but that is what makes us unique and lovable. It is why people cherish one another for the differences we share and the magical qualities that prevail. This season, ignore whats missing and concentrate on what is here or there. On who is in your world and what special phone call or plane ride can bring something back. We will never have all the pieces to life, all at the same time, because then things would be perfect and perfect is not to be defined by one person, lifestyle, job, love or lust. Define your own perfect even if it is a puzzle with a million little pieces paired with a million little thoughts... all of which may never unite yet equally essential.

"If you're not comfortable and you're aware of wearing an outfit, everyone else is going to be aware that you're wearing an 'outfit.' That's not style, that's trying to be stylish." -Harley Newton



"stay free, stay the same,

play it straight

and own your name"

-Jason Mraz

Vogue, December 2003

Jean Paul Gaultier

Karl Lagerfeld

Helmut Lang

Tom Ford

Donatella Versace

John Galliano

Christian Lacroix

Viktor & Rolf

Nicolas Ghesquiere

Marc Jacobs

After a change of plans, I ended up somewhere I would not have normally been, around people I may not have met and a conversation that may have never occurred. Due to a left turn, I had the most interesting dialogue and it inspired my train of thought.  I was asked, point blank, "Michelle, what do you REALLY want to do... like REALLY?"

I thought about it for a moment and responded, with confidence... and with no hesitation the response was: "THEN DO IT".

I cannot seem to forget about this conversation and it makes perfect sense to me. We tend to forget about what we really want out of life RIGHT NOW and tend to secumb to what our instincts tell us will be best for the future. As if true passion and desire are buried so deep it takes a lot to execute let alone verbalize. As if we have become so caught up with what we want out of our future that we forget to do what we want out of today. Not living for the present because the future is more important. What I am NOT saying is to wake up tomorrow and make some irrational decision that could be detrimental to any kind of future you may have. Nor am I saying to be kooky and mindless, moving forward, making non-sensical decisions for the rest of your life. I was inspired to consider my, short-term, aspirations or merely make some in order to create a more magical present. 

The future is mine, it is not going anywhere and the scary thing about the future is that it will always be unattainable. Think about it? No matter what, the future will always be lingering... lingering in our thoughts, dreams, plans, purpose and no matter how old you are or what time of day it is there is always the question of what will the future bring?

I guess no one has asked me what I want to do, point blank, and actually cared about my response. As if whatever my answer was, I knew, there would not be any judgement or negativity. My answer was meant to be honest, no matter how unattainable it seemed at that moment in time. I could answer freely, like a bird flies freely through the sky with no boundaries, dead-ends or finish lines. I felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders and I could say anything I wanted and positive reinforcement would follow.

The pressure I continue to feel regarding the present and future seems so frivolous, as if those around me pre-judge when judgement is not needed. Ask questions when my answer is not acceptable or is merely deflected with opinions and suggestions. Maybe it is my genetic makeup, my past which has molded my present or just my own uniqueness but I see things in a way that only I can see. I want things out of life that may not make sense, but they make sense to me and the outcomes of my decisions have yet to disappoint. And now... once again, I am at a turning point and have to ask myself- What do YOU really want?

J'adore Pamela Hanson

Love. Love. Looove Pamela Hanson. There is something about her photography that is intriguing, captivating my eye while leaving me wanting more. Bis (above) was my first encounter with Hanson's work, and have yet to see a piece I didn't like. A combination of black and whites, color, feminine flair and seduction, there is no question this gal's gets it. Featured regularly in all my fashion favorites including Vogue, Glamour and Vanity Fair, Hanson's work is incredible. Check her out, she's amazing!
http://www.pamelahanson.com/fashion

Sparkle w/ a Splash of Spice

I'll take a moment to welcome myself back as well as apologize for not writing in a long while. The reason being is that I have just not been inspired lately. I have all these thoughts in my head but when it comes time to get them on "paper" my mind draws a blank. A white canvas stares back at me, smirking and laughing, knowing that I just don't have the right combination to make my masterpiece.

It is always around this time of year that I get an itch, this mundane feeling inside telling me something is missing or just not right. I have yet to scratch it this year, but its becoming harder and harder to refrain from, in all honesty, scratching the shit out of it. For those who don't know me so well, what I am referring to is a feeling of bland, blah-ze-ness. An urge or need for spontaneous change, an adventure, something to really woo me, something that sparkles with a splash of spice. Having never been satisfied with basics, perpetual patterns, consistency or a uniformed lifestyle, it is no surprise when things start being consistent I start feeling antsy. Like I want to run, jump, yell and scream, feel that zaa-zaa-zoo, an incredible passion for something I love and cannot be without.

As the seasons change, slowly the leaves will fall till the trees stand bare, the sky becomes dark and white flurries gracefully fall from the sky. Winter will be here before you know it and at this point it is easy to fall into a slump. There is so much to be passionate about and for me that is my writing, and although I have been uninspired by my surroundings I need to inspire myself, I choose my own inspirations. So much goes unnoticed everyday, and by taking a few moments to acknowledge the small things I'd like to think this could be my band aide, a distraction, because it will never disappear only subside until the next...