When all is said and done, looking back on things, this has been one hell of a year. I have sort of a love/hate relationship with 2009, a sense of sadness that it is over but then again I am ecstatic about it nearing end. The new year is always so fresh, a canvas that is completely blank, allowing one to do whatever they like to begin what may or may not be a masterpiece. With a million colors, styles, emotions, shapes and sizes to consider before making that first move in developing a glorified life-like "portrait".

Transition has been key for me this year, engaging in life lessons daily and learning more about myself then ever before. Sometimes it is so easy to slack off, allow others to pick up after you and be the key motivation in your daily adventures. I on the other hand learned that I am in total control over my world and for the first time I am confidently in control. I will be the one to make things happen and it is not going to be anyone else that gets me where I yearn to be.

Passion for life experiences is what makes me tick. The constant curiosity about what may be around the corner or on the other side of the fence. Not to say it would be better or worse, but merely the curiosity that motivates my fascination for exploration. Looking back I have acknowledged some of my ultimate goals and passions in life. I have distinguished what I love and what I am really good at, as well as what I thought was of interest or what I, in all honesty, really suck at. This year was really all about self-exploration, concentrating more on my surroundings and ambitions then anything else. I gained a new kind of confidence that I think I was lacking in my college life to adult hood transition. It is so easy to stay stuck in a bubble, the bubble that seemed instantly pop the day I got my college degree. As if a diploma was a ticket to the real world and there was no time to get situated for this unknown, unfamiliar ride ahead.

Here's to 2010. Here's to a year of discoveries, adventure, lessons and love. Another year of true friendship, laughs and the occasional tear. ...and most important thank you 2009, which without would not give us the opportunity for something fresh and brand spanking new.

Tis the Season to Look Absolutly Stunning

Who ever said it was okay to toss in the towel and act like a complete animal this holiday season was clearly delirious. By ...like an animal, what I really mean is ...like a pig. Now, if that still doesn't make my point crystal clear, I am merely talking about over indulging at the 5 million holiday parties/dinners you may or may not attend. It is almost like an oxy-moron, so many amazingly stunning looks to explore, try and conquer only to come face to face with crab cakes, pumpkin this, pumpkin that and whole lot of egg nog. I am not saying you cannot have a taste of that scrumptious red velvet cupcake paired with a peppermint martini but please chocolate frosting does not pair well with satin ruffles.

The holidays are a time to look fabulous, period. A time to indulge and feel stunningly gorgeous, just like a princess, all month long. With all the festivities happening simultaneously, it is almost hard to keep it all together while consistently looking effortlessly \perfect. The only solution is to plan ahead, think ahead, know what the hell is going on...ahead. I found myself salivating yesterday as I browsed the various holiday dress collections, embroidered tights, purses, hair clips, statement necklaces...right down to the gorgeous lace lingerie. Everything screamed at me- you need me, want me, how can you be without me...? Cocky? Yes. Mistaken? Not at all.

So although the holidays are about giving, no one said it wasn't okay to give yourself a phenomenal look this holiday season. Indulge in accessories, favor your figure, nourish your wish list and most important have a glorious time.

The heat turned up just enough, a window cracked the slightest bit, a blanket, glass of wine and a movie perfectly describes a priceless winter night. In efforts to stay warm, staying inside is really the only option here in Chicago. I found myself in a euphoric state, sipping my favorite Sauvignon Blanc while watching Sideways. A movie about two men who embark on a week long journey in California's beautiful wine country- In search of wine. In search of women. In search of themselves.

Remarkable how a journey can help ignite the unexpected causing one to learn and embrace more then just their surroundings. This movie proved this all so well, depicting the lives of two middle aged men who realize they have little to show in their lives and ultimately find themselves in search of true identity.

Director Alexander Payne does not disappoint, creating characters you can't help but feel compassion for, mixing comedy with drama, love with lust and a plethora of wine. As if I was magically riding along side these two, sipping my own glass and learning more about myself then ever expected. A visual treat, Sideways takes a step back and to the left from most movies we see and acknowledges the brilliance of a fantastic viewing experience . Forcing its audience to hold up appreciation for good wine, company and adventure. As if we have gotten so caught up with special effects, sexy faces and trivial dialogue that we lose sight of a really good flick.

A simple plot, yet kept me intrigued, constantly fighting with my own emotions. Acquiring a love/hate relationship for the characters all due to their mixed up and mindless behaviors. In efforts to keep from spoiling the movie all together, I would just like to say this movie rocks. It takes you on a journey and uncovers the hidden desires of human nature, those that we hate to admit and camouflage so well. Sideways truly possesses a unique twist and originality much like a vintage red, while leaving a charming and unexpected after affect, just like a cheap, yet tasteful glass of white.

*Let it Sparkle, Let it Shine*

There is nothing wrong with a little za-za-zu to get you through these winter months. You know, a little sparkle mixed with some shine to help brighten up what could be a long, dull winter ahead. Sparkles are everywhere; brightening up the eye, lushing up lips, enhancing the silhouette and jazzing up whatever we may have going on south of the ankle. Here are a few things that caught my eye......

A million lil' thoughts paired w/ a million lil' pieces...

Something must be in the air that has made me think about the relationships in my life. Whether it be the bond I share with my friends, the memories I have with those I no longer see, the interaction with my family and the relationship I have with myself.

As people come and go in life, I cannot help but wonder why some stay and others drift away. Some drifting slowly, almost going un-noticed and others practically disappearing instantly, like some kind of real-life magic trick with no specific formula to bring them back. As if there is some cosmic correlation between the people and faces seen daily and a reason as to why we have to miss others so much. Based on the path I have chosen in my life, I feel fortunate to have had the opportunity to meet so many unique and amazing people. Those, who without, I would not be me, without those conversations had, experiences undergone, adventures to be taken.

We tend to forget how influential those around us really are. The strangers we pass by, thinking nothing of it or the casual conversations had during a daily coffee run. Just based on a certain route consistently taken and that impromptu detour that unexpectedly brought you face to face with something or someone fabulous. There is an irony here, ironic how life is full of goodbyes, and yet full of hello's at the very same time. Like the two parallel one another for infinity and it is the way things go not even an on-going cycle but instead a game of catch, eye for an eye, a loss for a gain. Occasionally I feel sad, sad that I do not see you everyday, and at one point you were there every day of my life. Such faces and personalities, so magnificent, I could not imagine a world without.

I have always made it a priority to maintain relationships, staying in touch and not losing sight of what was once quite significant. Not realizing how influential something was until it is no longer around. Or how you could have gone so long without having that charisma and essence channeling a certain lifestyle in your world. This time of year, specifically, is about seeing old friends and foes, family gatherings, laughter, reminiscing about what once was and resolutions to be carried with us in the year to come. For me, I want to concentrate on all the positive influences I have in my world and not forget the people who are nearly a plane ride away.

It is easy to be hard on oneself; whether a job is at stake or just not fulfilling, a relationship hanging by a thread or merely a bad hair day that can only be fixed with a good night sleep. But with a slight pause you can turn it all around. Nothing is perfect, unlike a puzzle where every piece is meant to fit precisely, instead life is that puzzle with two missing pieces or for some half the box, but that is what makes us unique and lovable. It is why people cherish one another for the differences we share and the magical qualities that prevail. This season, ignore whats missing and concentrate on what is here or there. On who is in your world and what special phone call or plane ride can bring something back. We will never have all the pieces to life, all at the same time, because then things would be perfect and perfect is not to be defined by one person, lifestyle, job, love or lust. Define your own perfect even if it is a puzzle with a million little pieces paired with a million little thoughts... all of which may never unite yet equally essential.

"If you're not comfortable and you're aware of wearing an outfit, everyone else is going to be aware that you're wearing an 'outfit.' That's not style, that's trying to be stylish." -Harley Newton



"stay free, stay the same,

play it straight

and own your name"

-Jason Mraz

Vogue, December 2003

Jean Paul Gaultier

Karl Lagerfeld

Helmut Lang

Tom Ford

Donatella Versace

John Galliano

Christian Lacroix

Viktor & Rolf

Nicolas Ghesquiere

Marc Jacobs

After a change of plans, I ended up somewhere I would not have normally been, around people I may not have met and a conversation that may have never occurred. Due to a left turn, I had the most interesting dialogue and it inspired my train of thought.  I was asked, point blank, "Michelle, what do you REALLY want to do... like REALLY?"

I thought about it for a moment and responded, with confidence... and with no hesitation the response was: "THEN DO IT".

I cannot seem to forget about this conversation and it makes perfect sense to me. We tend to forget about what we really want out of life RIGHT NOW and tend to secumb to what our instincts tell us will be best for the future. As if true passion and desire are buried so deep it takes a lot to execute let alone verbalize. As if we have become so caught up with what we want out of our future that we forget to do what we want out of today. Not living for the present because the future is more important. What I am NOT saying is to wake up tomorrow and make some irrational decision that could be detrimental to any kind of future you may have. Nor am I saying to be kooky and mindless, moving forward, making non-sensical decisions for the rest of your life. I was inspired to consider my, short-term, aspirations or merely make some in order to create a more magical present. 

The future is mine, it is not going anywhere and the scary thing about the future is that it will always be unattainable. Think about it? No matter what, the future will always be lingering... lingering in our thoughts, dreams, plans, purpose and no matter how old you are or what time of day it is there is always the question of what will the future bring?

I guess no one has asked me what I want to do, point blank, and actually cared about my response. As if whatever my answer was, I knew, there would not be any judgement or negativity. My answer was meant to be honest, no matter how unattainable it seemed at that moment in time. I could answer freely, like a bird flies freely through the sky with no boundaries, dead-ends or finish lines. I felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders and I could say anything I wanted and positive reinforcement would follow.

The pressure I continue to feel regarding the present and future seems so frivolous, as if those around me pre-judge when judgement is not needed. Ask questions when my answer is not acceptable or is merely deflected with opinions and suggestions. Maybe it is my genetic makeup, my past which has molded my present or just my own uniqueness but I see things in a way that only I can see. I want things out of life that may not make sense, but they make sense to me and the outcomes of my decisions have yet to disappoint. And now... once again, I am at a turning point and have to ask myself- What do YOU really want?

J'adore Pamela Hanson

Love. Love. Looove Pamela Hanson. There is something about her photography that is intriguing, captivating my eye while leaving me wanting more. Bis (above) was my first encounter with Hanson's work, and have yet to see a piece I didn't like. A combination of black and whites, color, feminine flair and seduction, there is no question this gal's gets it. Featured regularly in all my fashion favorites including Vogue, Glamour and Vanity Fair, Hanson's work is incredible. Check her out, she's amazing!
http://www.pamelahanson.com/fashion

Sparkle w/ a Splash of Spice

I'll take a moment to welcome myself back as well as apologize for not writing in a long while. The reason being is that I have just not been inspired lately. I have all these thoughts in my head but when it comes time to get them on "paper" my mind draws a blank. A white canvas stares back at me, smirking and laughing, knowing that I just don't have the right combination to make my masterpiece.

It is always around this time of year that I get an itch, this mundane feeling inside telling me something is missing or just not right. I have yet to scratch it this year, but its becoming harder and harder to refrain from, in all honesty, scratching the shit out of it. For those who don't know me so well, what I am referring to is a feeling of bland, blah-ze-ness. An urge or need for spontaneous change, an adventure, something to really woo me, something that sparkles with a splash of spice. Having never been satisfied with basics, perpetual patterns, consistency or a uniformed lifestyle, it is no surprise when things start being consistent I start feeling antsy. Like I want to run, jump, yell and scream, feel that zaa-zaa-zoo, an incredible passion for something I love and cannot be without.

As the seasons change, slowly the leaves will fall till the trees stand bare, the sky becomes dark and white flurries gracefully fall from the sky. Winter will be here before you know it and at this point it is easy to fall into a slump. There is so much to be passionate about and for me that is my writing, and although I have been uninspired by my surroundings I need to inspire myself, I choose my own inspirations. So much goes unnoticed everyday, and by taking a few moments to acknowledge the small things I'd like to think this could be my band aide, a distraction, because it will never disappear only subside until the next...

No, I love the 80's

Cruising around Elle.com I noticed an article titled Marc Jacobs Loves the 80's, it was no surprise given I have a weakness for anything Marc Jacobs but this was just surreal. His Fall 2009 collection is 80's inspired, as if I couldn't be anymore 80's obsessed, Marc Jacobs takes signature looks from the era adds his own genius and Voila.

I am absolutely fascinated with all things 80's; from neon and florescent colors to tutus, big hair, jean jackets, glitter and spandex. The way the color is magnified and sparkles illuminated, it is like one big, non-stop party trickling down your body.

When designers take a plunge and bring back styles from milestone time periods it makes me wonder: why now? Why not 1940's or 50's? Or what about the 60's and 70's, when tie dye and peace signs served to be the key essentials. Either way, this season we're all about the 80's, not like I haven't always been, yet now the runways are tapping into one of the greatest decades and adding a splash of chic.

All about self-expression, creativity and individuality; no bow too big, dress too tight or color too illuminating. It's all about over the top fashion with the key being excess. Sometimes it is easy to forget how important self-expression is and crucial it can be to take advantage of our bodies as a blank canvas. Dressing it up with bright colors, over the top accessories, what we love and can't be without. Now that designers are jazzing up Fall 2009 you wonder how we could have ever neglected signature looks from this dazzling decade. Here's to one of the most vibrant and electrifying generations of all time and here's to the designers that brought it back.

Micheal Jackson's This Is It, which opened around the globe Tuesday and Wednesday, was absolutley incredible. Starring the King of Pop himself, Michael Jackson delivers an amazing amount of energy and charisma, emphasizing the genius that he was. A musical documentary featuring a compilation of interviews, rehearsals and a behind-the-scenes journey, from April- June 2009, of the creation and development of Jackson's final world tour.

Every song touched me in its own way, covering just about every classic, as Jackson put it, "I want to give the audience exactly what they want to hear". Thriller, Smooth Criminal, Billy Jean, just to name a few, all of which held up to there titles. Amazing the way Jackson would just stop in middle of a tune because it was off by the smallest decimal, "It needs to simmer". Ensuring that each song was precisely in tune the way his fans heard and remember, at one point he says "I just want to hear it the way I wrote it".


Beginning with short interviews from the handful of dancers chosen to perform along side Jackson, an opportunity that words or emotions can barely describe. Speechless, half of the dancers did what they could to hold back the tears while the other half let it all out, expressing how unbelievably lucky they were. The thing is that it was not luck it was pure talent, the best of the best, dancers who possessed the ability to depict Jackson's brilliance. Crisp and rhythmical, like a robot pre-programmed, every move chiseled to perfection.

The director of the concert and movie, Kenny Ortega, blissful and on Jackson's side, repeatedly telling Jackson how much he loves him. Jackson responds: I love you too. The two shared a bond, Jackson ensuring he called all the shots while Ortega micro-managed allowing for his inventiveness and talent to shine.

Jackson wanted the show to be flawless, a performance to be remembered, this was it, and even though he "was saving his voice" for the real performance the energy that he gave us was unreal. Aiming for some high notes he could not hold back, even during a rehearsal. There is no doubt this concert would have been mind-blowing, although the curtain fell sooner then expected- a tragedy, Michael Jackson will always be remembered. The king of pop, a dancer first then a singer, a pure musical genius. A portrait of the artist at work, a musical documentary as revealing as it gets, a final look at Jackson doing was he loved. This is it.

Dear Sunshine.

I am just wondering where you are? I miss you so and these dreary, cloudy days are not bringing me the same joy you once did. Pay me a visit sometime soon... real soon. xo, Chel

It was my first morning waking up in my new apartment, about a week ago to be exact. I barely had my eyes open but could feel this vibrant beam of light shining down on me. Half studio, half loft, there is a rectangular shaped window standing vertically up in the loft space. The way the blinds had been closed the night before allowed this perfect ray of sunshine to peak through this morning. Hitting my eyes at a most precise and perfect angle it set the tone for my entire apartment... and my day.

I have yet to experience this light wave since and keep trailing back to that precious moment, being reminded of what it felt like to be awakened by sweet warmth. The positive attribution it brought to the day is incomparable to any other morning pleasure. Perfection and convinced me, if I had thought otherwise before, that sunshine does effect our personalities. As if without it a negative ora consumes the body, convincing the mind that today is dull.

I look out the window and wish I was welcomed by that crisp yellow light, so strong one cant help but embrace it. Instead I am staring at drabness and in no way motivated to smile or frown. It is as if the gray sky creates a numbness to any sort of feeling, indifferent to the ending of the day and it is only some fluke combination of pleasure and bliss that can turn dull into something versatile.

Sad story, to say the least, but it won't be anytime soon that I am awakened by bright, glistening light peaking through my windo. So until then, I say, suck it up, savor your smile and remember that sunshine is always a plane ride way.